he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
