I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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