While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
