I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
