Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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