apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
