Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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