I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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