I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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