Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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