she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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