no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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