Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Oh god it's open bar.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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