Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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