I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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