Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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