OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
