Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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