dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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