Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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