He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
