Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
this beer tastes like vomit already
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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