i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize