Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
