Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
