based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I looked at my own cervix.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
