Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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