i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
