I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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