Your tits are I can't wait for
i already hear my dad disowning me
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
