how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
