Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
