She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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