the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
