i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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