I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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