took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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