The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
