I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
