So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
