we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
