yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
