OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
