I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
