Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
