have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
