We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
