Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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