I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
