i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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