Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
