god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
